Mah-moody Blues

May 12, 2019 by

Mah-moody Blues

Sunday rolls round and it falls to me again to have the dubious pleasure of reviewing Israel and the Big 5:

Israel

Much as before, Kobi is dressed as an eccentric undertaker and emotes this hammy piece of musical theatre like a professional. Pyros have been added for added drama. There has been talk of last place for this, but as we will see later, that is an honour only Germany has eyes for.

France

This remains a heavy-handed presentation that plays squarely to its audience. The show ends with the words ‘We are all Kings’ which quickly changes to ‘We are all Queens’. A second-half draw sees France hit single figures on the Outright, matched at 8.6.

Spain

After ever-so-earnest Bilal, Miki’s easy-going charm is a welcome relief. The wickerman shaking the house remains a random distraction, but it is at least executed better. The magic really happens though when, free from the restraints of the props, Mike and his troupe of dancers run down the catwalk to interact with the crowd. And a 2nd half draw raises Spanish hopes as this looks an ideal show closer, and Spain is matched at 3.95 for a Top 10 finish.

Italy

This is better from Mahmood, but still feels a long 3 minutes. It’s all a bit one-paced, surly and monotone. Much better camera angles have tightened the performance, but I’m still not sure about the need for dancers. Some of the imagery on the LEDs strays towards Clinton Cards territory, the words ‘Money Can’t Buy Your Love’ appearing as the closing line. Italy will also perform in the 2nd half but Italy is now friendless on the Outright matched at 24.

UK

Despite claims elsewhere, this remains amateurish and diva-ish. Michael appears ghost-like from the dry ice and spends the first two minutes prowling the very empty stage. The last minute is better when the gospel choir arrive, but when Sweden are doing this so much better, you have to question its reason to exist.

Germany

It is hard to describe the full nothingness of Germany. The stock images of lesbians are no more, but there is still absolutely no camera connection – even when the camera swirls around them as they stare longingly at each other. Eventually they stand back to back and the camera determinedly focuses on the girl that is not singing. Hopeless and looking a justifiable favourite for last place.

That’s us done until Tuesday now. Articles will be published every other day until Saturday, but if you want more, Rob and I will be tweeting our thoughts throughout the week. Follow us on @ferrisdayoff and @mat_rickard

3 Comments

  1. Kylie

    Hey guys, thanks for the good work!

    Rob, could you elaborate your thoughts on the French price crash, as someone outside the bubble I personally see it as a massive overreaction.

    • Burlington Bertie

      I was just saying the very same re. shortening of odds on France being a big overreaction, just as those on Azerbaijan possibly were after its first rehearsal. It’s textbook stuff when seemingly middle of the road entries are suddenly catapulted up the odds due to something unexpected in the staging. This is, however, the view of loads of fans who have followed the songs for weeks. Will your average viewer next Saturday feel the same way? Only time will tell I guess.

    • Rob

      Hi Kylie. This is my gut feeling too. We are seeing the betting markets move in relation to the hype generated by the press centre in Tel Aviv. It’s the same every year but it still never ceases to amaze me.

      We have also seen it to a lesser extent with the likes of Australia and Azerbaijan this year. Bilal’s impact has been even greater because, similar to Conchita, the messaging pipes directly into LGBT empowerment. But dissimilar to Conchita the song and performance are not remotely strong enough to compete for the win imho. A certain section of televoters may well be moved by it enough to vote for France but on the jury side he looks like coming up well short, unless a vast section of jury members lose their minds.

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