The Chapman Report (5)
Very, very pleased Rory McIlroy won SPOTY. Very, very pleased the humble and immensely likeable Kaz won Strictly. Very, very pleased silly (but rich) Jake Paul eventually got his face smashed in by AJ. And I’ll be very, very pleased if my favourite tennis player, Aryna Sabalenka, whips the pants off misogynist baddie Nick Kyrgios in the Battle of the Sexes in Dubai on the 28th (live on BBC at 3.45pm).
It probably won’t happen – the bookies don’t think so, bet365 go 1/6 and 7/2 – but there’s always the chance they’ve got it wrong. On paper, it’s The world No. 1 woman vs the 673rd ranked man, but we all know Kyrgios is much better than that. Once world No. 13 and conqueror of most of the biggest names, he has been able to play only a handful of tour-ranked tournaments in the last three years because of wrist and knee injuries.
The arrogant Aussie vintage 2025 is an unknown quantity as he managed only one Grand Slam appearance (Australian Open) and went out in the first round in that. Yet he’s entered next month’s Australian Open and claims to be fully fit and raring to go. He gives the impression of this being easy money in a year when his earnings have nosedived.
In contrast, Sabalenka won the US Open and should have won more. Lost in Australian final, French final, WTA Tour final. An outstanding world No.1 and fierce competitor who hits it like a mule. Backing her, you are guaranteed a 100% trier.
The arrogant Aussie vintage 2025 is an unknown quantity as he managed only one Grand Slam appearance (Australian Open) and went out in the first round in that
But Kyrgios? You’re only guessing. He could be brilliant, could be awful, could throw the toys out of the pram if he doesn’t like the way it’s going, could even retire with an injury, real or imagined. “Do you really think I have to try 100%?” he asks rhetorically.
Back in 2013 when Serena Williams and Andy Murray were at the top of the game and an exhibition match was mooted, Serena dismissed the idea, saying she’d lose “6-0, 6-0 in five… maybe ten minutes… because men are a lot faster, they serve harder, they hit harder”. If you believe that, you’ll want the 9/1 that the first set will be “under 6.5 games”. But I’m very much in the other camp. I’m sure Sabalenka will win games. This version of Kyrgios is no Andy Murray.
They’ve altered the rules to help her. Her court will be 9% smaller because it’s been calculated women are 9% slower. This means Kyrgios must rejig his game so that his serve, drop shot, lobs and dinks arrive in the allotted new area. And instead of two serves, each player is allowed only one. So it’s not tennis as we know it but a hybrid to make the match closer and more thrilling.
Then you have to consider what the sponsors want, or even whether the whole promotion has been scripted. They’re shelling out a helluva lot of dollars after all. The last thing they need is a double bagel. Ideally, they’d love to see the Goodie – and Aryna is massively popular despite all that grunting – pull it off but above all they’d like an exciting spectacle, not a walkover. Something like Conners v Navratilova in Vegas in 1992 – Conners won 7-5, 6-2 – would be acceptable but this one has all the makings of being tighter than that.
Instead of two serves, each player is allowed only one. So it’s not tennis as we know it but a hybrid to make the match closer and more thrilling
The famous Battle of the Sexes in Houston in 1973 went the way of Billie-Jean King, three straight over the 55-year-old Bobby Riggs, a former multiple Wimbledon champion but way, way past his best. Riggs had previously walloped a nervous world No. 1 Margaret Court by messing the statuesque Australian about.
Sabalenka hits harder than either B-J or Court and what success she has will depend on her getting her serve in. It’s a 120mph bullet and not much slower than that of her flashy but erratic opponent. If she can get Kyrgios on the back foot, I see this going to a decider.
Bet365 go 5-2 about the match going into a third and final set without having to name the winner and that looks the best way to play it. If it goes to three, a first-to-ten shootout will decide. There are worse outsiders than the powerful Belarusian at 7-2.
Before then, a magnificent King George is in store at Kempton on Boxing Day when Nicky Henderson’s Jango Baie at 3-1 might surprise the two Willie Mullins raiders from Ireland. Have a great Christmas and see you in the new year when we’ll be having a look at the Golden Globes and potential Oscars contenders.