Kill Bill?

Dec 11, 2020 by Rob

They wouldn’t dare, would they? Not Bill. The story of Strictly 2020. The underdog oldster (55) who has charmed the nation with his musicality and the endearing partnership he has struck up with Oti. Forgive us for disappearing completely down the rabbit hole, but, whisper it, yes, the Strictly producers could be contemplating killing off Bill in the semi-final and here’s the reasoning why.

Bill is very likely topping the public vote. He may well have topped the vote every week throughout the series and he looks poised to top the vote again tomorrow evening.

Despite looking like an unassailable position, in truth it is not. If Bill is placed last on the judges’ leaderboard tomorrow evening, even if he tops the pv he could still find himself in the bottom 2 vs Jamie.

Him and Jamie have been tied on 24 in the last 2 weeks so it’s not inconceivable Jamie edges ahead of him, if this is the road the producers choose to go down.

Week 7 (Musicals Week) – Judges’ leaderboard:
HRVY and Janette: AS – (5) – 9, 10, 10 = 29
Maisie and Gorka: Jive – (3) – 9, 10, 9 = 28
Ranvir and Giovanni: VW – (2) – 9, 9, 9 = 27
Bill and Oti: AT – (4) – 8, 8, 8 = 24
Jamie and Karen: Jive – (6) – 8, 8, 8 = 24 – bottom 2
JJ and Amy: Charleston – (1) – 6, 7, 7 = 20 – eliminated

All it will need is for TPTB to be ultra-cunning with the precise order of the other 4 contestants above Bill, factoring in their respective pvs and bob’s your uncle. Mission accomplished. Also, in a dance-off scenario up against Jamie they would have plausible deniability for saving Jamie having scored him higher than Bill on the night.

We also have those song titles to consider. While Jamie’s salsa ‘Last Dance’ looks, on paper, a thinly-veiled and irresistible quip dreamed up by the producers ahead of his seemingly inevitable exit following what would be a fourth dance-off appearance, it is easy to imagine a script which turns this on its head.

Tess, ‘Shirley, is that to be Jamie’s last dance?’

Shirley, ‘I don’t think so and I sincerely hope not. Let me tell you something, that salsa was one of the best I’ve ever seen and had me on my feet…’

And then there are those Bill song choices, perhaps hinting at his imminent departure – ‘(Won’t You Come Home) Bill Bailey’… although, this song was the inspiration behind his stage name so we’re maybe going a bit too ‘Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland’ when considering its subliminal connotations.

‘Enter Sandman’ is also a very left-field song selection for the Strictly audience. Bill has an affinity for the band and this would have been his choice, but we all know how badly it panned out the last time a contestant requested a specific song for a specific number, Michelle Visage’s Street/Commercial routine to ‘Vogue’ in Blackpool Week last year leading to her elimination.

As part of his act Bill performs a rendition of the famous Metallica track using horns, which we may well see in his training VT if not the performance itself. After two underwhelming weeks for Bill, his Enter Sandman tango and Charleston actually look tailor-made for him to put his unique stamp on them and should play well to Bill’s fans, but his scores could easily still land him in last place, not to mention series ringer HRVY also having a Charleston on the night which looks booked for 10s, potentially eclipsing Bill’s and highlighting his technical limitations.

Plotting Bill’s demise may still seem too far-fetched. The show would be cutting off its nose to spite its face by seeking to dispatch its greatest asset prior to the final. You could even argue it damages the brand, but after the inevitable social media outcry and newspaper headlines, Strictly will soldier on, the show is bigger than any of its contestants, and it will have the same ratings in the final with or without Bill.

A potential Bill assassination in the semi-final only really makes sense in the context of Ranvir. What we saw last week in Ranvir’s VT was confirmation the show is going all-out in trying to construct a powerful journey narrative for viewers to grab hold of. And, by the way, another ‘moment’ is surely teed up for her with that waltz set to another shrewdly selected, atmospheric piece of music, on a night when her Achilles heel of fast Latin can be disguised in the context of 2 dances on the night, and weaker dances selected for a number of her semi-final rivals as well.

We have seen in the ingenious plotting of Ranvir’s songs and dances across the series, and the chemistry they have contrived between her and Giovanni, treatment that can only be described as that of TCO (The Chosen One). But producers are still left with the dilemma of how she can beat Bill with the final decided by public vote. The simple answer is, they can achieve a Ranvir win by getting Bill eliminated in the semi-final.

The history of Strictly tells us how difficult it is for the show to get a woman over the line first. In past series, it has also required major dark arts to achieve wins for the likes of Alesha Dixon, Kara Tointon and Abbey Clancy, so a cleverly concocted Bill takedown would not be without precedent.

Bill also has a comedy tour starting on December 28 and might well fancy an extra week of rest. He will also know better than anyone that signing up to a show like Strictly demands you submit to its omnipotence. As a contestant you become a pawn in the hands of producers, dictated to by a powerful showbiz deity, as much as Bill has been charmingly subverting the machine throughout this series by treating each dance like an academic exercise.

In summary, do we think it will be a last tango in Elstree for Bill tomorrow night? We sincerely hope not. Do we want Bill to be eliminated? Certainly not. Do we trust the show to play fair? Indefatigably not.

Pre-show, a Jamie vs Maisie or HRVY dance-off does appear more likely. If we see any leaderboard ties, it will be good news for Bill’s survival prospects and we may yet see the series finale so many Strictly fans will be longing for, with Bill starring in it.

Please do cast your vote(s) on tomorrow night’s semi-final exit poll found here.

Semi-final songs and dances:
Bill and Oti: Tango to Enter Sandman by Metallica & Charleston to (Won’t You Come Home) Bill Bailey by Ottilie Patterson with Chris Barber
HRVY and Janette: Charleston to Another Day of Sun by La La Land Cast & Rumba to Only You by Kylie Minogue and James Corden
Jamie and Karen: Quickstep to Thank God I’m a Country Boy by John Denver & Salsa to Last Dance by Donna Summer
Maisie and Gorka: Viennese Waltz to A Thousand Years by Christina Perri & Couple’s Choice: Street/Commercial to Gettin’ Jiggy With It by Will Smith
Ranvir and Giovanni: Waltz to Un Giorni Per Noi by Josh Groban & Jive to Candyman by Christina Aguilera